


love me under the sun

by eatsung



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Twilight, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Love Triangles, M/M, Slow Burn, Vampires, You're Welcome, yes nct dream are the cullens
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-14
Updated: 2020-09-10
Packaged: 2021-03-02 05:41:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,730
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23650105
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eatsung/pseuds/eatsung
Summary: about three things i was absolutely positive. first, mark lee was a vampire. second, there was a part of him – and i didn't know how potent that part might be – that thirsted for my blood. and third, for someone who lived for over a hundred years, he was pretty fucking stupid.
Relationships: Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Mark Lee
Comments: 22
Kudos: 54





	1. forks

**Author's Note:**

> first person perspective hyuck btw 
> 
> inspired by twilight (the books) + i kept some of the stuff i remember liking while reading! enjoy!!

the last and, in my opinion, only good thing my father did for me was drive me to the airport. the windows were rolled down and the airflow brushed through our hair – his grey at the roots, mine having grown too long as he kept telling me for weeks.

“say hi to your mom for me.” at least he had the decency to not wait for my flight to depart. i nodded. when he turned to leave, i looked the other way.

i had quite the few unread messages, most of them from jungeun, who kept telling me she’d set fire to my dad’s office so i could come back, along with a bunch of memes of people smiling into the camera next to burning houses. they made me snort, even if i really didn’t feel like laughing.

don’t get me wrong, i was more than excited not to live with my father anymore, i really was – but leaving him also meant leaving my home, my friends and _me_ , essentially. old me, i’m guessing.

sighing, i checked the time. not long until the plain would take me to my mom, my new life, my new self.

my mother wasn’t a particularly tall woman and i’d often cursed her genes, but i hadn’t noticed i’d outgrown her by now. it’d been a little under a year that she’d last visited us. when i stopped wanting to come, she made an effort trying to see me nonetheless.

her smile was toothy and wide and i could definitely see me in her. when i was younger i looked more like my dad, a little round and hair kept short so it wouldn’t bother me while playing outside. now, at 17, when i’d lost most of my baby fat and my fringe hung into my eyes so much even _i_ considered cutting it again, i turned into a less soft, duller-eyed version of my mom.

“duckie,” she cried, falling into my arms that were sturdier than they used to be. “oh, duckie, my love,” she whispered and i could feel her tears against my cheek, fueling mine instantly.

maybe this is what coming home was supposed to feel like.

the drive from the airport to forks was just like i remembered them to be – my mom talking, abba playing on the shabby car radio of the police car i used to be so embarrassed to drive around in. now, i was kind of glad. no one would dare to make a dumb comment with my mom being the town’s sheriff and even if they did, i’d be glad to remind them who my mother was.

“i can’t wait to show you your room! i kept a few of your old drawings up, i hope you don’t mind. i just couldn’t say goodbye to them just yet. can’t believe you’re really with me, i’m so happy.”

i gave her a genuine smile. my eyes burned a little from crying earlier. turning to look outside the window, i tapped on my knee as i let _our last summer_ swallow me whole.

forks wasn’t pretty, it never was – rainy, sad days and so much green. green grass, green trees, green _everything_. i supposed it was due to the high humidity and back home in phoenix i’d never mind green, but the lack of color diversity really got to me for some reason. _you’re searching for reasons to hate it here, donghyuck_ , my conscience spoke to me. it probably was that. i turned back to my mom, giving her a smile as i caught her eyeing me suspiciously. she immediately returned it, all sunshine despite the somber atmosphere that came with the town she’d lived in for forever.

i hadn’t been prepared for the nostalgia that hit me the moment i entered my old childhood room – i could tell my mom really wanted to see my reaction, but she opted for giving me a little space, which i was really thankful for. it didn’t look exactly like when i was a kid. my mom had exchanged the twin bed for a bigger one and painted over the wall 4-year-old donghyuck had deemed a good canvas for his wax crayon doodles. green. i smiled despite the shaking sob building up in my throat. maybe it’d grow on me. maybe it had already.

i’d never been a crybaby – my mom used to tell me how it was actually kind of scary how quiet of a toddler i was – so it confused me a little how much i’d cried on my first day back in forks already.

i just let the tears roll for a while, putting down the two bags i’d carried up already and just sitting on my new bed (dark green bedsheets), staring at the few drawings my mom mentioned earlier. they weren’t bad for those of a child; one of a pretty detailed ladybug, one of a big dog, one of my parents and me. i let out a whimper. i’d have to take that one down. she’d understand.

“duckie?” my mother called from downstairs and i caught myself, hurriedly wiping over my cheeks with the sleeves of my hoodie – i hadn’t worn one in ages, but i’d packed my suitcase with all my warmest clothes, which weren’t many. the people back on the phoenix airport had given me confused glances. here i was cold despite the thick fabric.

“yeah?” i called back, cringing at how shaky my voice sounded. i took a few deep breaths, closing my eyes for a brief moment.

my mom seemed to hesitate before calling for me again. “come down for a second will you? there’s someone who wants to welcome you!”

i held back an eye roll. she couldn’t be serious. i’d just arrived and we already at visitors. i quickly walked to what had been my bathroom when i used to come as a kid and to my luck, it still was there. my mom had placed an unpacked toothbrush on the edge of the sink. she really tried hard. i shouldn’t be hard on her.

eyeing myself, my face scrunched up in distaste. my eyes were red-rimmed and puffy and my nose was shiny. taking some cold water into my hands, i washed it over my face, welcoming the freezing sensation. i also let my wet fingers run through my black locks a few times, hoping to make it look less tousled, but it only ended up looking pompadoured. great.

hopping down the stairs, i instinctively skipped the one i knew would creak. _huh_.

my mom was waiting outside, talking to a woman in a wheelchair and a tall, bug-eyed boy. my breath got caught in my throat.

“hyuck!” the boy called out, voice unexpectedly deep and my cheeks immediately burned up.

 _my childhood friend had turned insanely hot and no one told me_.

i put on my most convincing grin, cursing my not so cute post-cry-face. “almost didn’t recognize you, wong.” i squeaked a little when he engulfed me into a big hug, giant bear hands ruffling my hair like a couple of old friends – which we were, of course, but still. i never expected to feel this comfortable around someone i hadn’t seen in like 6 years.

when he let me go, his smile grew even wider, keeping me at arm’s length to properly examine me. he had dyed his hair a dark brown and it looked unbelievably good. i remembered the bowl cut he’d had a few years back. _wow_.

“you got so skinny,” he commented in a way i didn’t know if it was complimentary or nagging, so i rolled my eyes and pushed him a way a little, mainly so i could say hello to the woman next to my mother.

she gave me a warm smile in which i could immediately recognize yukhei’s. “i don’t know if you remember, darling.” i shook my head in disbelief. “of course i do, ms. wong! god, i’m so happy to see you again.”

her eyes crinkled lovingly at the edges and i truly felt at peace for the first time in forever. “please, call me waan. you’re a big boy now.”

a bumping noise caught me off guard and i jumped a little, turning around to see yukhei grinning widely next to a car – it was big and a rusty reddish brown and all in all pretty damn sexy.

“fixed her up for you. wanna go for a ride?” yukhei eyed me expectantly, but i could just stare back. “pardon me?” i turned to look at my mother for a second and her smile was just as big.

“duckie, it’s yours. waan just sold it to me. consider it a welcome home present.”

my eyes grew larger as i looked from my mom back to yukhei and then the truck. i was in love. giggling, i bounced on the balls of my feet for a bit, running over to my mom to give her a tight hug, before putting my hands on the door of the car – _my_ car.

“she’s perfect,” i whispered and even if it maybe was a little dramatic, i couldn’t help myself. all i’d ever wanted since i turned sixteen was a car and now i’d gotten one, just like that. “it’s not even my birthday!”

yukhei let out a high-pitched laugh, the one thing he hadn’t lost apparently. i gave him my biggest smile. maybe it was my mind playing tricks on me but i could swear i could see him blush a little.


	2. school

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> donghyuck enjoys the joy that is forks high school.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank u for all the positive feedback i got on the first chapter, yall are so so sweet :((( <3<3<3
> 
> point out mistakes juice eyo !!!!

after yukhei and waan had left and i’d finished admiring my new baby, i joined my mom in the kitchen to help with dinner. a habit of hers had always been humming and singing random stuff when she was focussing on something and now too, she was stirring sauce while swaying her hips a little, a familiar yet unrecognizable melody filling the room. i smiled as i watched her – she had her back turned to me, not noticing how i’d entered.

my gaze wandered around the kitchen. there were a few pictures scattered around, most of them of me, few of what seemed to be my mother with waan, a handful of a little boy i recognized as small yukhei. i walked over to them, gently sliding my finger along their wilted edges, smile never leaving my lips. he was cute even back then.

looking further around, i noticed how no photos of my father were hanging up. i’d have to thank my mother for that later – or maybe she just didn’t have any up, unrelated to me moving here. nonetheless, i was grateful.

“i’m really not excited for school,” i huffed out and my mom jumped a little, giving me a warning look. “i’ll really have to get used to not being alone anymore, huh?” she then grinned and i stood next to her, feeling the warmth of the food she was preparing. “can i help you with something?”

she shook her head no, before reconsidering.

“actually, you can set the table. _two_ plates.” the latter she added with a sheepish grin. i couldn’t hide my own as i pressed a light kiss against the side of her head. i always knew where my dorky side came from.

after she’d shown me where she kept the cups (the one thing i’d forgotten), she turned to me, having closed the lid of the pot she’d stirred in before. “school will be fine. you’re good at finding friends. besides, everyone in town is thankful for a new face – not much happens around here, you’ll see.”

i shrugged. “yeah but… they’ll grow bored of me. i’m not that exciting, mom.” it felt unfamiliar to say that word. for the longest time i’d called her by her english name when i spoke about her to other people. chrissy. i don’t even know why. probably because she’d somehow always felt far away. more like distant family than my own mother.

“duckie…” she sighed, furrowing her brows at me. i could tell she wanted to disagree but something on my face led her not to and i was glad. it wasn’t like she knew. she didn’t _really_ know me, never saw how i acted around people. i could be the biggest asshole in the world and she wouldn’t know.

mom tried a smile, copying my earlier shrug. “you’ll find someone. no one’s expecting for you to find a friend for life.”

i nodded. “for starters, i’ll ask yukhei if i can tag along with his friends. at least i know him there.” the thought wasn’t comforting as i’d expected it to be. i knew yukhei and i’d played with him and his friends from the reservation a handful of times, but i didn’t look forward to being the odd one out nonetheless. especially if all of them had turned into handsome giants too. i wasn’t ugly, but i was far from being a handsome giant, that much was clear.

my mom cleared her throat, making me snap out of my inner turmoil. “duckie, yukhei goes to school in the rez.” her shoulders dropped and her eyes fixed me apologetically. i opened my mouth and closed it again. awesome. pressing my lips together, i sighed. “well, that’s just great.” i didn’t bother hiding my bitterness. my mom would have to get used to it anyways.

after dinner, i asked my mom if it was okay with her if i went out for a walk. it wasn’t really to ask her for permission, more to simply inform her i’d be leaving for a bit. it was saturday and i assumed she’d spent her night watching football or rugby or whatever it was she was into. obviously not something i particularly cared about.

she nodded and gave me a smile. i knew she could see how i didn’t love it here, but unlike me, she was probably thinking i’d warm up to the idea of living in forks, washington.

i grabbed my camera on the way out. maybe i could get some nice shots of the street or my car. i considered calling yukhei and asking if he wanted to hang out, but i had no idea how long it took from the rez to my mom’s house, nor did i have his number to actually call him. on second thought it’d be really embarrassing anyways.

with dislike, i eyed the jacket my mom gave me to wear. it was big and looked heavy and entirely like something that i wanted to burn instead of wearing it. despite myself, i slipped my arms into the, as expected, seemingly 5-kilo-weighing sleeves, zipping it up to my chin and forcing my hair into the hood. i really needed a haircut.

in phoenix, it only got this dark in the middle of the night or in deep winter. it wasn’t even nine p.m. and i could barely see my own hand. walking down the driveway, i failed at biting away my toothy grin as i laid eyes on my truck again. she was truly a beauty. i couldn’t wait to drive her again – earlier yukhei and i had done a quick tour around the block, catching up a little. he’d told me about how his sisters were away studying and the eldest, miriam, was already expecting her first child. it was crazy how much i’d missed. a feeling of guilt had bubbled up deep in my guts. i’d not only abandoned my mom when i made the decision of not coming anymore. everything that belonged to the town, i’d never even said goodbye to.

i snapped a few pictures of the houses i passed, always making sure i could still spot the lights of my mother’s place from afar, not wanting to get lost on my first night back. i wasn’t interested in exploring the place anyways – i didn’t care about forks. i never had.

when i turned to walk back, i took a picture of my new old home. it looked nice like this; peaceful. a little like out of a small-town mystery series. with a population of 4,000 people, forks at least ticked the box for being a small-town. a _miniscule_ -town, even. with my luck though, the most mystery i’d get was if it was going to rain the next day and if i’d ever see the sun again. my money was on ‘probably not’ for now.

the drive to school was stressful – jungeun blamed my inability to read maps on the fact that i was gay, but even following siri’s instructions proved to be rather hard for me. maybe it was the gayness, maybe it was the general stupidity.

forks high school was quite the opposite of pretty, but this time i wasn’t really fazed. i’d never expect a school to be pretty. that wouldn’t change my feelings towards it anyways.

something about the glances i – more specifically my truck – got, notably darkened my already uncharacteristically somber mood. hadn’t my mother said the people from forks would appreciate a breath of fresh wind? right now they just reminded me of the people from my old school, with the way the eyed me, exchanging bemused looks with their peers. fine. maybe this school stuff would be even harder than i anticipated it to.

“nice ride,” a guy around my age noted as i strutted from my car to the school’s entrance. i didn’t bother retorting anything. i was very aware that he didn’t _actually_ considered my (on a side-note _beautiful_ ) car a ‘nice ride’. i was used to assholes, and i hoped from the bottom of my heart i wouldn’t encounter more before even entering the building i had deemed hell on earth already.

an overview map that was hung up on a black board next to the front doors of forks high school pointed me to where i’d find the administrations office. at my old school, new students always were assigned a school guide to help them find their way around the foreign grounds – i couldn’t help but feel nostalgic. this school was obviously backward in development. immediately cursing myself for the presuming thoughts, i turned to try my luck looking for the administration, only to be caught off guard by a girl with a smile so big i wondered if her face hurt from it.

“ _donghyuck lee_ ,” she beamed. i stared back. her smile didn’t falter even the slightest. “i’m so incredibly honored to meet you – sheriff lee did a lot for our town. everyone adores her. my name is jiwoo kim!”

_korean_ , my mind spat out and i felt a little more at ease. my mom had said the asian community in forks was rather large, but i hadn’t known what her definition of ‘large’ was. i hadn’t expected looking into an at least kind of comforting face so early on.

“hyuck,” i spluttered awkwardly, looking around for a split second, maybe in search of someone i knew, the only problem being: i didn’t. “just hyuck.” jiwoo nodded and by now i really worried for her face muscles. i’d never seen a person as cheerful as her before.

“hyuck,” she repeated, nodding enthusiastically, “of course.”

i tried an uneasy smile. jiwoo reached out and for a moment my fight or flight instinct was alarmed, but she only interlaced our arms, tagging me in the direction of where i’d walked in just moments ago. “i’ll show you to where mrs. o’brien works. she’ll give you your schedule and a map so you’ll have no difficulties finding your different class rooms.”

as i snorted, she gave me a questioning look. she was too close for someone i only met, yet i found i minded it less than i’d intentionally pictured. jiwoo was a pretty girl; big, lively eyes, pearly-white teeth and roundish cheeks. she reminded me somewhat of myself when i looked through old pictures of me, though i had the feeling she might be older than me. she kept her hazel-colored hair in a neat ponytail, her bangs purposefully framing her face.

“i really hope we have at least a few classes together. i can’t wait to introduce you to my friends! i won’t leave you alone, don’t worry. it must be so scary to come from a school in arizona to _this_.” she gestured around and only now, following her movements with my eyes, i noticed the students staring at us, well, _me_. suddenly, jiwoo’s arm hanging loosely around mine was even more of a source of comfort. i was incredibly thankful she could distract me from the terrifying reality that was being the new kid in town, even if she clearly wasn’t aware of the dilemma i was currently going through.

mrs. o’brien was a friendly-looking woman in what i guessed her mid-sixties. judging by her facial expression, there was no need for me to introduce myself, still i did it out of politeness. her smile was warm and once more i got the impression that i was the only one impacted by the lack of sunshine in this godforsaken town.

“say hello to your mother for me, petal,” mrs. o’brien spoke after handing me everything i needed and i didn’t even have to fake my big smile – something about my aura always made elderly women love me.

“that was successful,” i grinned as i joined jiwoo back outside. she’d promised me to wait, but didn’t feel like entering for a reason she didn’t explain. i didn’t pry – we weren’t friends, even though she gave me the feeling we would be very soon. she reciprocated my expression, albeit her smile being about ten times broader. “i’m glad! i have english with mr. miller first,” she said, giving me an encouraging nod to check my schedule.

clumsily rustling with the papers in my hands, i tried to pull out my schedule, when i accidentally let some of them go, the breeze carrying them away within seconds. cursing under my breath, i pressed the ones i hadn’t lost to my chest, running over to catch the other ones. one had landed next to a car on the, to my luck, mostly dry concrete. i was relieved to see most students had already left the school’s parking lot and most likely made it to their classes. i’d be late, but at least only a handful of people witnessed this awfulness.

jiwoo hurriedly followed me, petrified look on her face. she probably already regretted giving her word to not leave me alone – i felt bad for causing her second-hand embarrassment and already considered telling her she didn’t need to hang out with me, when someone next to me spoke, causing me to flinch dramatically.

“you lost this, i think.”

i turned, clutching my papers even harder, my backpack bumping into the car i’d been crouching next to only seconds ago. next to me was a guy, holding out what looked like all of my missing sheets at about arm’s length. i swallowed, a feeling i couldn’t quite register traveling up my spine.

he was _beautiful_. his raven hair was purposefully mussed up, the pale skin of his face seemingly reflecting the tiny bit of sunlight peeking through the thick clouds above. the corners of his eyes were crinkled into a gentle smile that should’ve been inviting – it kind of was, but i quickly realized that next to a warm feeling in my chest, the main emotion it awakened inside me wasn’t that.

i was scared.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i lied in the summary EWFHWELCH he didnt even go to class yet and YES i skipped sunday that was on purpose
> 
> orbits this one is for you <3 jiwoo is my baby and i REFUSE to give hyuck a rival like jessica thats only there to be a rival and have no personality otherwise also jiwoo ISNT jessica shes technically eric i guess i dont know im just going with the flow here
> 
> anyways bye i love u so much mwah mwah mwah


	3. new faces

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> my mom was right — no one expected me to find a best friend for life in this place. still, part of me felt like that, just maybe, in spite of that, i did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as always, pls leave feedback & correct mistakes !! it'd be greatly appreciated :^)))))

snapping out of it, i quickly put on a thankful smile and reached for the papers. i felt weird with how far away from me he was standing, gap between to us too big to simply be out of politeness. but maybe that was just me – i was a stranger to him as much as he was one to me. “thank you,” i mumbled, hoping he’d see how genuinely glad i was i wouldn’t have to either run to collect the papers myself or, even worse, try to find all my classes without them.

his smile never faltered and i threw a fast glance to jiwoo, before my head turned back almost forcefully. it was like my eyes were begging to never leave the black haired’s face or rather his eyes – they were a rich amber, almost like they had captured the sunlight i missed so dearly.

the _i’m hyuck by the way_ got stuck in my throat as the school bells went off, indicating the start of the first lesson. panicked, i turned to jiwoo, who apparently was a little less fazed by the beautiful boy in front of us, hastily pulling out the stack of papers from my hands. almost all of them got crinkled from my strong grip on them and with horror i realized, hot pale guy must’ve seen me losing them. dear god.

“english!” jiwoo cheered, her smile right back on here face as if she’d never lost it. i hadn’t registered how petrified she’d looked only seconds before, but now that she was beaming again, i made a mental note to ask her about it. i turned to thank the stranger again, but as i looked back, he was already on his way, hands in his pockets and his grey backpack hanging loosely off only his right shoulder. _what a nice back_ , i caught myself thinking, fighting an upcoming blush.

on the way to class, i’d initially planned on asking jiwoo who i’d just spoken to, but apparently she had already forgotten, going on about how she’d ask her friend to move spots so i could sit with her in class and how mr. miller was an incredible teacher.

english class was something i actually looked forward to – back home, we mostly read novels and discussed them or wrote thesis statements concerning the characters or specific situations on the book. i liked reading and the rest came to me rather naturally, which wasn’t something i could say about subjects like maths or history.

within 90 minutes of class, i had come to learn that forks high school _was_ , indeed, behind just a notch. this time, though, i found myself relieved: i wouldn’t have too much trouble being able to hold up my grades or even improving them if all my classes were this far behind national syllabus.

jiwoo introduced me to her friend dejun, whose cat-like eyes and thick eyebrows charmed me almost immediately. he was no near flawless as the guy i had seen in the parking lot, but by the time the school bell rang to announce the end of the lesson, i found myself already daydreaming about him, snapping out of it when jiwoo gave me a huge grin, telling me i could sit at their lunch table.

“phoenix, hm?” dejun spoke when we left the classroom, shouldering his elegant leather bag. i nodded, not trusting my own voice enough. how did this dump of a town produce such breathtaking boys? back home, the boys had been okay — oftentimes, i’d wished to be at least bi, not only for the fact that i knew my dad wouldn’t be keen at the idea of having a homosexual son, but also because the girls at my school were actual _supermodels_ compared to the mere average boys.

dejun gave me a smile that i couldn’t quite read. “forks must be a total letdown, then,” he continued and jiwoo, who was walking between us, one arm linked with mine while simultaneously typing away at her phone, elbowed him in the ribs, causing him to jump away, sending a grin my way. i tried to retort it as best as i could, growing flustered. _seriously_ , what the hell was in the water of this place?

“it’s like i remember it,” i spoke, not saying if that was good or bad. “just a little different from home.” i cursed myself for calling it that. while my heart slowly had gotten the memo that phoenix _wasn’t_ my home anymore, my head and with that, my mouth, still worked on autopilot.

dejun and jiwoo gave me sympathetic glances and i returned a shrug. “i don’t mind. it’s going better than i pictured it.” it wasn’t exactly a lie. school was horror, yes, but that had nothing to do with what state the school was in.

jiwoo pushed her phone in the back of her light skinny jeans, face glowing as always. “i can’t believe you weren’t even here for an entire hour and you already caught jeno lee’s attention.”

that piqued dejun’s interest and he looked at her with big eyes. “you’re kidding.” jiwoo scrunched her nose as she laughed and suddenly pulled me further to the side of the hallway, gracefully dodging students coming our way, pulling her arm out of mine, manicured fingers starting to twist at what seemed to be her locker. right — i got out my paper out of my backpack, checking the number i’d gotten. it was only a few down from jiwoo’s and with delight, i saw it was one on the upper row.

“is jeno the guy from earlier?”

saying his name felt weird. of course i’d seen that he too had been asian, but something about him seemed odd. now that i learned that he was korean as well, my brain came to the conclusion it must’ve been his eyes. he was ought to have brown eyes, like jiwoo, dejun and me — perhaps he was wearing contacts, but even that didn’t make a lot of sense in my head. who wore colored lenses to school?

“maybe it was just the first impression, but something about him seemed… _off?_ ” i hoped i didn’t offend them, but the way they had talked about him let it seem like they weren’t the bestest of friends with jeno lee.

i made it sound way worse than it was, i thought. he’d just given me back the papers i’d lost and i’d stared back at him like a bowl of steaming food.

jiwoo and dejun exchanged a glance before the ponytailed girl looked around, giving me a pointed look. dejun leaned his back against the locker next to hers, amused smile tainting his features.

“you don’t wanna get too close to him and his _‘clique’_ ,” jiwoo spoke, hesitating a bit before the last word, bitterly chuckling about her own joke. “they’re super elitist and keep to themselves mostly.” only now noticed i how her smile had disappeared once again. she shut her locker. i looked down to my number, biting my bottom lip. i didn’t need to put anything in it yet anyways. i’d get my books at the end of the day, mrs. o’brien had said.

i let dejun and jiwoo walk me to the cafeteria, all while lecturing me about jeno lee and his family.

“they moved here like, i don’t know, three years ago?” dejun nodded and jiwoo looked pleased with herself, continuing. “yeah, well. at first we tried to welcome them and stuff, but it quickly turned out they had no interest in making friends or anything.” she looked resentful and something about it told me she, who i assumed to not be used to people rejecting her even if enchanting, a little over-the-top friendliness, had been pushed away by someone she’d tried giving a warm welcome to.

the cafeteria was pretty full already, albeit it only being about 20% of the students my old school’s cafeteria could fit. something about it felt homely, in a way. feeling students’ curious eyes on me, i turned my head to look at the floor. _geez_.

all of jiwoo’s friends seemed to be rather wonderful — first, i got introduced to hendery, a lanky boy with shaggy, black hair and eyes lined with kohl. his grin really didn’t match his punk exterior, yet i gladly gave him a big smile back, commenting on the camera hanging on a leathern band around his neck. “you do photography, too?”

he shook his head, hair falling into his face. my locks were nothing compared to his. “aspiring film-maker,” he mocked a curtsy while still leaning back in his chair so aggressively that i thought he might slide off, and i immediately decided that hendery was someone you could trust with your life.

next it was hyejoo, who only smiled at me shortly, going back to sketching what seemed to be a storyboard. she had, like hendery, black hair, but her entire style differentiated itself drastically from his: instead of all-black, she wore a simple, purple blouse and had pulled her hair up into a high ponytail not unlike jiwoo, only less neat, few strands having it made out, falling into her face prettily.

“yerim,” the last girl spoke and held her hand out to me, self-assured smile on her lips while i took it tentatively, “and you’re donghyuck lee. i’ve heard all about you. i’m fucking _obsessed_ with your car.”

my mom was right — no one _expected_ me to find a best friend for life in this place. still, part of me felt like that, _just maybe_ , in spite of that, i did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i really didnt like this but im trying to view this more as a filler chapter before he finally gets introduced to mark n his friends properly ... sorry i took so long to update, i felt a little blocked, but i hope this helped me get over it
> 
> a few things i wanna address: 
> 
> 1) i dont know shit about the american school system. i know barely anything about the german one but basically schools stick to a national curriculum that all teachers have to plan their class after and i kinda just took this and tried to briefly mention it.. its not important to the story but i still wanted to talk about what i meant in case someone didnt understood
> 
> 2) i really dont want jiwoo and her friends to just be there to support the love story. i dont know how to say it differently, i basically wanna give them more depth than angela, jessica, mike and the others got. 
> 
> 3) hyuck spoke about daydreamin about xiaojun n stuff, thats literally just because he's hot and he isnt used to that. he doesnt have a crush on him lmao
> 
> uhh yeah next chapter he'll finally learn about mark wdljherlkh i actually wanted to include that in this chapter but it felt like a good spot to end... yermdong bffies forever <3<3
> 
> GODDD I SUCK AT NAMING CHAPTER IM SO SORRY I WAS SO CLOSE TO NAMING IT "still in school" I HATE IT HERE


	4. an introduction

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> it was weird to me, the way they spoke about them. not like they weren’t just a couple of teens like them. as if they were something else, something superior to them. 

yerim filled me in about 10 minutes — unlike in my school, there didn’t seem to be a certain hierarchy in forks high school. there were the jocks, obviously. with a slight scowl, she eyed a table not too far from ours; it was filled with mostly boys that had all about the same hairdo, short at the sides and a fringe hanging into their faces, not having bothered to style it upwards. the moisture would’ve ruined it anyways.

there wasn’t a league of pretty girls, my new friend informed me with an ounce of pride to her voice, though i followed her gaze over to jiwoo, who was agitatedly engaging in a conversion with hyejoo, who looked definitely less enthusiastic, but wore the same calm, but genuine smile i knew from jungeun, her pencil scratching over the paper like she did it subconsciously. i sighed, missing my best friend. i’d give her a call after school.

“do ya like her?” i hadn’t noticed how hendery had been listening in on yerim’s monologue and how his big eyes had scanned my face for a reaction.

he winced suddenly and from yerim’s triumphant smile, i guessed she’d kicked him under the table. “shut up, idiot.” hendery shrugged and looked at me a little sheepishly.

i bit my lip, looking over to hyejoo. she _was_ pretty. i could lie, but where was the point? wasn’t this why i came to this godforsaken place anyways? i saw that both hendery and yerim were looking at me expectantly. i sighed once more. “i don’t even know her,” i finally spoke, almost a whisper, scrunching up my nose.

yerim’s smile was doubtful, but not teasing. i wondered what she was thinking.

looking for an excuse to change topics, i looked around the hall for something or someone i could ask them about. my breath hitched once i spotted jeno lee — he was sitting at a table with four other boys, which shouldn’t have looked so odd to me. his posture, that i had previously deemed as perfect upon, um, thoroughly inspecting his back, was now decidedly worse, hanging in his chair almost forcefully crooked. he was barely moving his lips, to the point where i doubted he was actually speaking to anyone, especially in the way everyone else at the table was looking in different directions. maybe he was singing to himself. i wished i knew.

his expression changed into a small smile and he momentarily stopped moving his lips.

“what about them?” i spoke up and yerim, who was absentmindedly poking around in her couscous, looked up, following my line of sight. once she saw who i was referring too, she rolled her eyes, but i could tell she wasn’t actually annoyed at me, more my topic of interest.

hendery next to me snorted and i threw him a questioning glance. he shrugged again. “i’m not one to call people weirdos.” he grinned as he held up his hand and waved it around his face, as if to show that he shouldn’t be the one to judge. i giggled. he wasn’t exactly wrong, but the fact that he was so self-aware was kinda refreshing. “but those guys…” he continued, his smile turning sour. it was like he was ashamed of his thoughts and i didn’t try to pry out what he meant by that. yerim was less far less worried about being hypocritical.

“total. sketch.” she hissed and the abbreviation made the corners of my lips twitch upwards, though i decided not to comment. everything about yerim was a 2000s romcom, from the butterfly clips in her blonde hair, the metallic blue eyeshadow and even the way she spoke and moved. she was incredibly cool. “plus, they’re, like, really rude? i don’t get it, it’s like they all think they’re better than us.” she looked seriously bothered and it reminded me of the way jiwoo spoke about them. i wondered if she, too, had experienced some sort of rejection from them, or the way she kept glancing over to bubbly girl at the other end of the table had anything to do with her murderous expression.

dejun, who had been fairly quiet before, looked over to us after he poked up a cherry tomato drenched in balsamic vinegar. “funny, considering apparently jeno lee” — he whisper-screamed the name as if the dark-haired would’ve been able to hear him all through the now completely filled up cafeteria — “already spoke to our dear new friend.” he sent me a wink and i looked down with a blush.

“i talked to him first!” jiwoo chimed in, a little loudly, and i hurriedly gave her a small smile that she returned with a beaming one. hyejoo, who was still preoccupied with her storyboard, gave me a once-over, but didn’t say anything. flustered, i averted my gaze once more, looking over to where jeno and his friends were seated. only now, one of the other boys — he was smaller and brunette, his hair would’ve reached his eyes like mine, if he hadn’t artfully mussed it into a perfect bedhead, with narrow shoulders and just a dainty frame in general — was looking at me with so much hatred in his eyes that it knocked the air out of my lungs.

“what’s _his_ deal?” i spoke, so quietly only yerim seemed to catch it. she looked over and then back to me, eyes wide. “ _holy_ cow,” she exclaimed, a little out of character as i deducted with the way almost everyone at the table apart from hyejoo looked at her in surprise.

she caught herself and squared her shoulders a bit, eyes still trained on the brunette guy, as if to assert dominance. was she going to protect me? it seemed like it. almost automatically, i felt myself shrink into myself a bit.

“stop looking,” i snapped and her eyes immediately found mine.

“that’s renjun,” hyejoo spoke unexpectedly and i quickly turned to look at her, only to see that she was still engulfed in her art project — hadn’t she looked up at all? she was quite the enigma. hendery nudged my shoulder and wiggled his brows at me. what an idiot — endearing, but an idiot.

dejun chuckled, chewing on a piece of walnut. i shuddered. walnuts were disgusting. “you only like him because he’s good at drawing.” i wondered what in hyejoo’s tone or expression gave him the impression that she _liked_ the furious boy that i was too intimidated to look at again. turning to me, he continued, “he’s, like, totally nuts.” he laughed at his own joke and i heard the crunch of walnut in his mouth.

“they all are,” yerim said, less animated that before.

i dared to look up again, relieved to find that renjun was now looking down on the table, his lips moving impossibly fast, not unlike jeno’s had before.

he was beautiful, i realized. breathtakingly so.

his lips were full but not plump. his nose was perfectly straight and his skin, i could see from here, looked flawless even under the unflattering hues of the fluorescent lights. the only flaw i could find in his otherwise quite perfect exterior were the dark shadows under his eyes.

i looked over at one of the other boys, and again: sheer perfection. the boy next to renjun seemed younger, though he was quite a bit taller than the brunette. he had dark hair like the rest of them and unlike renjun, who looked like he just awoke from the best nap of his life and jeno, who had his hair styled up like someone professional did it for him, his was hanging into his forehead pretty neatly. he was cute, with pink lips and a kind look in his eyes.

next to him was his total opposite — he looked the youngest out of all of them, which i partly blamed on his style. he was wearing a black shirt and over that, a red and black flannel. i bit my lip to conceal a smile. he looked like he wanted to be anywhere else but here. relatable.

his straight brows were furrowed and his lips were pale, pressed to a thin line. i sighed. part of me thought he was perhaps angry. he just looked like he was suffering. i wished i could get him out of here.

as i examined them further, i noticed that all of them had the same dark circles i’d found on renjun’s face — otherwise flawless, apart from the who i had deemed youngest’ black hair, that was standing into every possible direction not unlike mine, and definitely not purposefully messed up like that of renjun. all of them but jeno, who was just sitting there with a small smile that even reached his eyes, looked like they crawled out a grave. _a grave for unnaturally sexy people_ , my mind offered.

the last of the boys suddenly shot his head into the direction of our table — only momentarily, when he spotted me he had already looked away. i still felt my cheeks heat up, embarrassed. i was being so rude. you shouldn’t stare at people.

still, i couldn’t bring myself to look away. he looked down at the ground next to their table, brows furrowed like those of the younger next to him. though he didn’t seem to suffer, more… like he was frustrated.

“don’t bother with him,” dejun laughed humorlessly and i saw that he was done with his salad, shutting his lunchbox meticulously. his thick brows were almost touching with how much he concentrated on not letting any dressing spill — maybe it was also the pain from past rejection. something told me that those five boys received a lot more welcoming than they would’ve deserved.

“what’s his name?” i asked, only halfheartedly acknowledging dejun’s earlier words. i noticed how now, his features that i previously had found almost paralyzingly ultimate, was nothing against the perfection of the group at the other table. the thought was unsettling to me.

“mark lee? yeah, no, hyuck…” jiwoo shot me a warning glance, nodding in dejun’s direction. his face twisted in a way that looked like he was trying to hide his reaction to a painful memory. ah. more rejection.

i couldn’t help myself, i had to take another glance.

mark lee. what a generic name. i shrugged. “he looks like a loser.” i wasn’t even lying, but dejun’s almost thankful smile was a definite plus.

“who are those two? the smiley one and the one that looks like he still listens to _my chemical romance_?”

yerim sputtered, slightly choking on her couscous. she’d barely eaten anything and i asked myself if it was because couscous was kind of nasty, or because she was busy telling me about stuff. i didn’t want to keep her from eating her lunch.

“oh my _god_ ,” she said between laughter and i couldn’t help but grin. it seemed like we had the same shitty humor.

“anyways,” she said after taking a sip of her mountain dew, “mr. sunshine and rainbows — that’s chenle zhong.” she had some difficulty pronouncing his name and i shortly considered waiting for an opportunity to ask him myself. despite of what the others said, he didn’t look like someone who’d just rudely brush me off.

“he’s pretty okay actually,” the blonde continued and i looked at her in surprise. she shrugged. “we have spanish together and” — she lowered her head into my direction and i followed without thinking about it — “he, like. i don’t know. he sits behind me, y’know? and one time. he just said my name.” i raised an eyebrow at her. that didn’t sound like half as an exciting story she had made it out to be. she put one of her fingers and pressed it into the table.

“he just said ‘ _embarazada_ ’ and i was like ‘ _huh?_ ’. and then he smiled. and, like, two minutes later mrs. goff came in with an unannounced vocab test.” she sat up straight, taking another big gulp of her mountain dew. “guess the only effin word i didn’t know.”

confused, i also sat back in my chair.

“don’t believe her,” hendery chuckled next to me, making me jump a bit. despite the oddness of her story, yerim had managed to completely pull me in. “she tells this every time we talk about them. she just wants to brag that one of them spoke to her unprovoked.”

yerim shrugged, grinning unabashedly. “just sayin’.”

it was weird to me, the way they spoke about them. not like they weren’t just a couple of teens like them. as if they were something else, something superior to them.

“oh, and that’s jisung. he skips a lot of classes, but he’s still, like, totally smart.”

i frowned. what a weird observation, really. considering yerim hated jeno lee and his friends, she knew an oddly lot about them. i didn’t say anything but found myself looking back at the table. mark lee, who i’d decided was no doubt the most boring out of all of them, had focussed his piercing stare back onto me once more. everything in me yearned for my eyes to avert themselves, to find yerim’s comforting ones.

and yet — i couldn’t.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I READ MIDNIGHT SUN AND HYPERFIXATED ON TWILIGHT FOR A WEEK thats when this happened uhhhhhh its so bad but <3 whatevs !!!! im gonna go watch new moon now omg the movies are so bad but i can do it. hope u are all alright,, esp cosidering the last days' events :(
> 
> but uhh yea thank u for reading and sorry this is moving so slow.. i mean it IS slow burn but i mean the updates lolz

**Author's Note:**

> i had to im sorry
> 
> pls pls pls leave constructive criticism im begging i wanna do better
> 
> also leave guesses on which cullen is gonna be which dreamie if u wanna lmao
> 
> this is barely proofread bc i cant concentrate u can tell me if u find mistakes! english isnt my first language btw
> 
> chapter length will vary


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